Have you ever wondered how in the hell other people's DIY projects always turn out so perfectly? Do you spend countless $$ in materials only to produce an item strikingly similar to one you made in 3rd grade? Relax, some of us suck too. In case you happen to also be DIY challenged, I thought I'd let you in on a little project of mine that turned out like shit.
Make the world's crappiest lampshade in
only eleven easy steps!
Step One: Buy an old funky lamp at your local thrift store. $15 is more than I'd have liked to spend but it's cool, dirty and I need a bedside light.
Step Two: Realize that the shade you had in mind is cheesy and think, "Hey, I write a design blog - I'll make one myself!"
Step Three: Bask in the thought of your readers witnessing your mini-miracle of creation.
Step Four: Get out the construction paper, wire hanger, elmer's glue and anything else you used in 2nd grade. Pour yourself a congratulatory glass of wine.
Step Five: Attempt to bend the freakishly strong hanger into something mildly resembling a circle.
Step Six: Keep pasting layers of cardstock on top of each other until it could pass for a shade.
Step Seven: Finally understand that one hanger and a bunch of paper do not make a lampshade. Dig around your house for anything else that holds shape. Have another glass.
Step Eight: Attach old origami paper and janky metal strip to exterior of shade.
Step Nine: Decide that metal and paper can not be held by .99 cent glue. Screw strip in place.
Step Ten: Take cute antler salt shaker you got for Christmas and rest it on the top like a finial. This will fall off the second you breathe so don't. Take Hipster Havens photos...........
.............and, viola!
Step Eleven: Drink 'til she's pretty.
It looks better from far away. Hope this helps the rest of you not feel like losers. Maybe my mom will tape it to the fridge.
